Tenipuri Online
by All4thebasilisk
Summary: All the Kantou schools have arranged a secret“Keyboard Pal” program for the tennis players. Each player selects a screenname and must correspond with whomever he is randomly given online. But as the name implies, the two keyboard buddies don’t know whom..
1. Oishi, Marui, Dan, and Atobe

**Title**: "Tenipuri Online!"

**Author**: All4thebasilisk

**Rating**: As of now, I'll stick with PG.

**Summary**: All the Kantou schools have arranged a secret "Keyboard Pal" program for the tennis players. Each player selects a screenname and must correspond with whomever he is randomly given online. But as the name implies, the two keyboard buddies don't know whom they've been given…

**Pairings**: We'll see…

Notes: Author's notes will be enclosed in parentheses throughout the story. 

And without further ado, let the instant messaging begin!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

EMAIL

**From**: Oishi Syuichiroh (Niceguy) (AN: For some reason, I can't do full email addresses, so I'll leave it like this)

**To**: Tezuka Kunimitsu (TezukaK)

**Subject**: Did you hear?

So, Tezuka, did you hear about the new Keyboard Pal Program? It's been a week since the Junior Invitational Games, and we'll already have a chance to speak with our friends from other schools. I'm looking forward to the opportunity, although my buddy's screenname _is_ a bit… odd. Ever hear of a "Uluv2KnowMe?" I thought it might be Atobe Keigo, but I've been assured that his screenname "would never be so obviously ore-sama" when I saw him on the way home from school today. I can't wait to speak to this player and try to figure out who it is!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

**From**: Marui Bunta (Tensai4sure)

**To**: Kuwabara Jackal (BrazilianinJapan)

**Subject**: My Keyboard Pal

I'm positive my Keyboard Pal isn't from Rikkaidai, (AN: Remember, just because there are people from other schools, it doesn't mean you won't get a classmate…) and he's really annoying! He'll stop talking in the middle of a conversation, then continue it ten minutes later, all hyper and clueless, as though he doesn't realize that I've been waiting for TEN MINUTES for one reply! I can't believe I got roped into this project. It's all your fault, you know. You're the one who told me that when we finally find out who our Keyboard Pals are, we're having a sort of party at that restaurant I love! So unfair! This isn't even worth all those snacks… though I may reconsider if you treat me to burgers again…

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

**From**: Dan Taichi (DanDanDanDan)

**To**: Akutsu Jin (OuttaMyWay)

**Subject**: I've been included in the Keyboard Pals Program, desu!

Sengoku-senpai has let me have a Keyboard Pal, desu! I'm so excited, desu! I'm going to try to learn more about the other player's style and adapt it to my own, desu, because I'm going to catch up to Echizen Ryoma-kun! Are you going to participate in the program, senpai? I hope so. Even though you're not on the team anymore, I'm sure Banji-sensei will let you if you ask, desu! It might be fun, desu!

(AN: For the sake of secrecy, Dan will be trying super-hard not to end every IM with the word desu, so that his Keyboard Pal will not instantly recognize him. The same goes for anyone else you may read about who will not speak with general characteristics, though personalities DO NOT change!)

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

**From**: Atobe Keigo (Rondo2Perfection)

**To**: Kabaji Munehiro (Usu)

**Subject**: Can you believe it!

Of course you can't! Some officious snob has taken a screenname perfect for ore-sama and used it for his own machinations! Imagine, "Uluv2KnowMe," truly believing to be of the superior breed of the Atobes! I would be horrified if I didn't know that this program is supposed to be anonymous. It must be someone so inferior that he feels he needs to appear as great as ore-sama online, ne Kabaji? That must be it. Maybe someone like Sanada Genichirou, who's just trying to impress Tezuka! Well, I won't have it. My screenname may appear to be modest online, but the name will spread to the farthest reaches of the Internet soon enough! I'll have my Keyboard Pal waiting on me hand and foot by the end of this program. But don't worry, Kabaji, I'll never replace you… ne?

(AN: These aren't all the people I plan to transcribe- I have a few others in mind, too! But if you have any suggestions of a pair of IMing buddies I can use, just write it in your review:-P hint hint…)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

INSTANT MESSAGING

**GiveMetheMoon**: Hello! It's so nice to meet you!

**Uluv2KnowMe**: I thought the same thing, too.

**GiveMetheMoon**: …that it was nice to meet me?

**Uluv2KnowMe**: Uh, no. That it was nice to know me.

**GiveMetheMoon**: O-of course! I was thinking that this is a great opportunity to get to know each other, as members of different schools.

**Uluv2KnowMe**: Frankly, I don't care. I don't need any more adoring fans, though I can understand the desire, of course!

**GiveMetheMoon**: Wait! I never said- (AN: I know people can't get cut off in IM, but trust me. It's more entertaining this way.)

**Uluv2KnowMe**: Come to think of it, it may be better to expand my fan base to other schools! You may yet make a competent toadie, Moon!

**GiveMetheMoon**: I'm sorry, I think there must be some sort of misund-

**Uluv2KnowMe**: I'm not going to tell you who I am just yet, though of course you probably already know that only one person in the world possesses such a stunning intellect. This program is a fantastic opportunity, assuming I can get more screennames from my teammates. I can spread out my fan base to every school in the Kantou region!

**GiveMetheMoon**: I give up.

**Uluv2KnowMe**: Just a moment, unworthy subject! I have a hair out of place, so I need to take a shower. You understand, of course. The danger to harming my person is very great when I'm not grooming properly!

**GiveMetheMoon**: Are you sure you're not Atobe Keigo?

**Automated Response**: Uluv2KnowMe has signed offline.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

**BurgerKing**: Are you there yet?

**Oyasumi!**: Where? Because I'm here! And so are you! Isn't this fun? Do you play good tennis? What sort do you play?

**BurgerKing**: Um…doubles? And why are you always so noisy?

**Oyasumi!**: Noisy? No! I can't be noisy on the computer! Actually, my mother's telling me to be quiet now. Guess I am noisy! That's incredible, how you knew! Are you a tensai?

**BurgerKing**: Well, now that you brought it up…

**Oyasumi!**: You're a tensai? That's really cool! You're really amazing! I bet you play great tennis, too!

**BurgerKing**: Of course I do; I'm a champion.

**Oyasumi!**: Sugoi! Igvslihwnfdshshryh

**BurgerKing**: Are you still there? Did you doze off again? (Sighs) If you hadn't just told me I was amazing….

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

**TennisStarWannabe**: Isn't this program great?

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: I love the idea! I mean, for all I know, you could be a super-great player, and I'd have no idea that I was talking to someone so amazing!

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: Someday, I'm going to be number one in Japan! I didn't even start playing until recently, but my senpais all say that I've got lots of potential!

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: I don't mean to brag or anything, though- I'm still not very good. But I've set a goal, and I'm going to reach it someday!

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: Maybe once I find out who you are, we can play tennis together! Right?

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: Great! I can't wait! When do we find out who our Keyboard Pals are, anyway? I'm a late entry, so I missed most of the details.

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: You also don't know? Oh, well. I'll just ask one of my senpais tomorrow, and tell you tomorrow night! That way we'll both know!

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: Oh, this whole conversation has made me want to get even better at tennis! I'm going to go practice now! Thanks for talking! I had a great time!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

**PerfectlyModest**: You are to be my Keyboard Pal, then?

**WhyNot**: Why? Why is your screenname PerfectlyModest?

**PerfectlyModest**: Because I believe it embodies one of my most outstanding and beautiful traits, of course. Couldn't you tell?

**WhyNot**: Why? Why is that your trait? Why did you join this program? Why are traits beautiful?

**PerfectlyModest**: I see that you understand my perfection and are curious about it. However, you should never ask questions so directly to someone of my stature. Preface it with an "if I may," or "if it pleases the mighty At- PerfectlyModest that I might speak…"

**WhyNot**: Why? Why do you say "I see" if you can't see me through the computer? Why can't I ask direct questions? Why didn't you answer my questions?

**PerfectlyModest**: You know, you're beginning to annoy me.

**WhyNot**: Why? Why am I beginning to annoy you? Why is your answer so short? Why is my computer's screen glowing?

**PerfectlyModest**: Okay, now you're not just "beginning" to annoy me.

**WhyNot**: Why? Why is it dark outside? Why do I have ten fingers? Why isn't my brother home yet?

**PerfectlyModest**: This is a ridiculous conversation. How can I make you bow to my greatness if you're so stupid?

**WhyNot**: Why? Why is my lamp on? Why hasn't my brother called? Why did we finish practice a minute early today?

**PerfectlyModest**: I wonder if they'll let me switch partners…

**WhyNot**: Why? Why would you switch? Why is there a poster on the wall? Why is this night different?

**PerfectlyModest**: AAARGH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

**WhyNot**: Why? Why can't you take this? Why are you taking something somewhere? Why is the grass green?

**Automated Response**: PerfectlyModest has signed offline.

**WhyNot**: Why?

(AN: Your reviews are the only thing that keeps me writing!)


	2. Momo, Kirihara, Oishi, and Yuuta

♥**Thanks to all my reviewers! You guys make my day!♥**

**Title**: "Tenipuri Online!"

**Author**: All4thebasilisk

**Rating**: As of now, I'll stick with PG.

**Summary**: All the Kantou schools have arranged a secret "Keyboard Pal" program for the tennis players. Each player selects a screenname and must correspond with whomever he is randomly given online. But as the name implies, the two keyboard buddies don't know whom they've been given…

**Pairings**: We'll see…

Notes: Author's notes will be enclosed in parentheses throughout the story. 

And without further ado, let the instant messaging begin!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

EMAIL

**From**: Momoshiro Takeshi (SlamDunk)

**To**: Echizen Ryoma (MadaMadaDane)

**Subject**: My Keyboard Pal

I never would have thought that I'd be enjoying this program so much! Whoever my Pal is, we've really been getting along, and I've begun thinking of him as a friend, even. I can't imagine who he really is, but he's understanding, fun, and we've just clicked. How about you, Echizen? Somehow, I can't even see you talking to some other guy if you didn't have to. Have you been participating, Echizen? If you haven't, you treat me and Eiji-senpai to burgers for a week!

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻

**From**: Kirihara Akaya (AkaiYouClearly) (AN: Those of you who understand Japanese will notice various language puns throughout this story. If anyone would like me to explain them, just ask in a review!)

**To**: Sanada Genichirou (SanadaG)

**Subject**: MoleNotBug

Yup, that's my Keyboard Pal. I'll admit, I wasn't exactly thrilled to be paired with a psycho like that, but this is more fun than I expected! I mean, he's barely ever online, but his sister talks to me instead, and she's totally my type. Seriously, when I find out who he is, I'm asking his sister out!

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻

**From**: Oishi Syuichiroh (NiceGuy) (AN: I'm going to try to insert some old people in every new chapter, so you can see how they're …er…doing…)

**To**: Tezuka Kunimitsu (TezukaK)

**Subject**: So glad you'll be joining the program!

I'm so happy that Ryuzaki-sensei invited you to join the program! This is a good chance for you to get to know players from the other teams who are entering the Nationals with us- that is, if you get someone from Rokkaku, Rikkaidai, or Fudomine. (AN: Remember, he doesn't know that Hyotei will be there yet.) At least you'll be emailing someone other than Fuji and me while you're rehabilitating. I'm having some problems with my Keyboard Pal. He's convinced that I want to make a fan club for him in my school, and he spends all of our time online with each other discussing his plans for its setup! If he isn't Atobe Keigo, who could he be!

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻

**From**: Fuji Yuuta (NotJustOtouto)

**To**: Yanagisawa Shinya (Who'sADuckDane?)

**Subject**: Finally!

It's been very irritating- no matter what, every time I've been at home and tried to go online, my Keyboard Pal isn't on! I was just about to give up when earlier today, I used Mizuki-san's laptop, and the other guy was online! I guess it was the timing- he seems to go on a little earlier than when I get home. Anyway, he seems nice enough, if a little… eccentric. There's just something about him… He seems familiar. He must've been from one of the teams we played. But I guess I like him- I feel almost like I can tell him all my problems. Who knows? You could be my Keyboard Pal! Or …not…

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

INSTANT MESSAGING

(AN: You all can probably figure out almost all of the screennames, but, then, knowing who it is makes it funniest. NekoLover isn't hard to get, but he's slightly OOC so as to further the plot… -laughs evilly-)

**It'sChan**: Hey NekoLover! How was your day?

**NekoLover**: It was okay, I guess. I just got back from training and saw you were online, so I signed on.

**It'sChan**: You get out from practice so late? What kind of school do you go to!

**NekoLover**: No, practice ended a while ago. I self-train a lot.

**It'sChan**: Oh, a practice geek. I guess there's one of those on every team.

**NekoLover**: Yeah… some of the others tease me about it, but I just really enjoy practicing.

**It'sChan**: If it helps you to get better, so be it! Hey, are you in your second year or your third?

**NekoLover**: I don't think I'm supposed to answer that…

**It'sChan**: Oh, come on. Since when have you ever cared about the rules?

**NekoLover**: I'm actually very well-behaved in school- I don't make trouble and I'm pretty quiet.

**It'sChan**: You! But you're always so talkative online!

**NekoLover**: Believe me- if I had met you personally, you would've thought I was unfriendly. I'm just more comfortable typing than talking.

**It'sChan**: I don't know. I think when two people click, they'll do it whether online or in person.

**NekoLover**: I guess so…

**It'sChan**: I've got to go- my mother's calling me.

**NekoLover**: Talk to you tomorrow!

(AN: I'm not even going to PRETEND you don't know who those two were. Anyway, that conversation wasn't fun unless if you DO know, so keep that in mind!)

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻

**RedandReady**: Hey! Um…MoleNotBug?

**MoleNotBug**: Nope. It's his sister again.

**RedandReady**: Good… I was hoping it'd be you.

**MoleNotBug**: My brother's not really online much, so he told me to take care of his Keyboard Pal for him. I don't mind.

**RedandReady**: Aw… you make it seem like I'm just a pain.

**MoleNotBug**: Not true! I like you!

**RedandReady**: Really…

**MoleNotBug**: Don't get any ideas, buster. My racket can also be used for bopping people on the head…

**RedandReady**: You play tennis!

**MoleNotBug**: With a family like mine, it'd be hard not to! My father was the captain of his high school team, my mother is a coach part-time, and my brother… well, I can't specify, but you obviously know that he plays.

**RedandReady**: Come on; tell me a little bit about yourself! What school do you go to, how old are you, how do you look, the regular facts!

**MoleNotBug**: Well, I go to the same school as my brother, I'm in my second year there, and I have brown hair and brown eyes. I'm about average height, and I'm the vice-captain of the girls' team at my school.

**RedandReady**: Oh, really… maybe we can play some tennis sometime.

**MoleNotBug**: Maybe… But not until you find out who I am, and vice versa. I'll ttyl!

**RedandReady**: Good night!

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻

**Uluv2KnowMe**: Oh, good, I've been hoping you'd sign on. I need to know- what are your school colors? I have my fan club making posters for your school, but they're worried that the colors will clash.

**GiveMetheMoon**: Hello. How have you been?

**Uluv2KnowMe**: Well, this morning, I was escorted to school by only four girls, because I was a little late. It was terrible- I've never felt so alone in my life! I hope you're school is somewhere near mine, because I don't want that to happen ever again. Can you imagine my sorrow? No, of course you can't. No mere toadie could ever comprehend my emotions.

**GiveMetheMoon**: I'm sor-

**Uluv2KnowMe**: But now, I will find solace in my preparations for the new fan club. Now, which of these two slogans do you think the girls in your school will respond to best?

**GiveMetheMoon**: I don't think-

**Uluv2KnowMe**: "Change Over To 's Fan Club!" or "He may not be from your school, but his fan club is for ALL TIME!"

**GiveMetheMoon**: Maybe-

**Uluv2KnowMe**: I'm not sure which I prefer- the stunning picture of me on the first sign, or my current fans' comments on the second one…

**GiveMetheMoon**: Don't you think this is a little excess-

**Uluv2KnowMe**: You're right- I suppose my adorable face is more convincing than a few hundred glowing comments about me… I'd better go tell the president of my fan club my decision. Thank you as always, my loyal subject! I could use someone else to bounce my ideas off.

**GiveMetheMoon**: I think there may have been a misunderstanding here…

**Automated Response**: Uluv2KnowMe has signed offline.

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻

**KnowMYName**: Hi again.

**YamaSurname**: I'm glad we were finally able to reach each other. I kept trying to go online, but it seemed as though we kept missing each other!

**KnowMYName**: I know what you mean. Actually, I just finished practice- I'm using our manager's laptop.

**YamaSurname**: Sorry I'm on so early, but my older sister just LIVES on the computer. She spends all of her time IMing her friends, and the only time I can go on is when she isn't home.

**KnowMYName**: My older sister's the same way- I guess all older siblings are like that.

**YamaSurname**: Well, sisters, anyway. My brother isn't big on going online.

**KnowMYName**: Mine isn't big on it, but he checks his emails almost every night.

**YamaSurname**: Well, that's normal. It must be nice to have a brother around. Mine's rarely home nowadays.

**KnowMYName**: Oh, I'm the one who's rarely home in my family. But I don't mind. My brother's overbearing. He dictates my every move, my every friend… And even when I'm not around, he'll call me to make sure I'm all right!

**YamaSurname**: He sounds overprotective. I'll also call my brother, but I'm not like that. We have a much better relationship!

**KnowMYName**: I envy you…

**YamaSurname**: All you have to do is make it clear to him that you can take care of yourself. Explain that a little brotherly love is okay, but sometimes it can get out of hand and that's when you put your foot down.

**KnowMYName**: I think I will! Oh! He's calling now! I'm going to tell him exactly what you said!

**YamaSurname**: He's calling you now…?

**KnowMYName**: Yes…why?

**YamaSurname**: No reason… Why don't you tell me how it goes tomorrow?

**KnowMYName**: Will do!

TBC…

Your reviews keep me writing!

Oh, and here's a little treat for all my readers: http/white-line.tk: this is where you can find the download link for the subbed version of the new Prince of Tennis OVA that begins the Nationals! Enjoy!


	3. Tezuka, Atobe, Otori, and Inui

♥**As always, thanks to all my reviewers!♥**

**Title**: "Tenipuri Online!"

**Author**: All4thebasilisk

**Rating**: As of now, I'll stick with PG.

**Summary**: All the Kantou schools have arranged a secret "Keyboard Pal" program for the tennis players. Each player selects a screenname and must correspond with whomever he is randomly given online. But as the name implies, the two keyboard buddies don't know whom they've been given…

**Pairings**: We'll see…

Notes: Author's notes will be enclosed in parentheses throughout the story.

And without further ado, let the instant messaging begin!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

EMAIL

**From**: Tezuka Kunimitsu (TezukaK)

**To**: Oishi Syuichiroh (Niceguy)

I have been given my Keyboard Pal, and will, as you suggested, use this to increase my conversationalist skills, though I don't believe they need improvement…

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

**From**: Atobe Keigo (Rondo2Perfection)

**To**: Kabaji Munehiro (Usu)

Once again, I will subject myself to the torture of communicating with my obviously inferior Keyboard Pal. It is good, I suppose, to occasionally mingle with lesser people, though I don't understand why I've been saddled with someone so infuriating! He is inquisitive, though; perhaps I can put that to good use. He just needs to ask the _right_ questions…ne?

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

**From**: Otori Chotaro (ScudShot)

**To**: Shishido Ryou (HyoteiTennisStar)

This is so exciting! Finally, I've been given a Keyboard Pal, and I'll be able to talk to him tonight. His screenname makes me a little nervous, though… Urusai? I wonder if it means that my Pal doesn't want to be a part of this program? That may be why he was added so late! I hope not, though… I was really looking forward to meeting my Keyboard Pal…

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

**From**: Inui Sadaharu (Dataman)

**To**: Kaidoh Kaoru (Snake)

This will be good data gathering, speaking to my Keyboard Pal. However, I must be careful. If the subject discovers that I am a data collector, he will not give away information so readily. Therefore, I will hide my true identity and endeavor to act as foolish as possible. This will lower his guard and open him up, so that he may reveal extra information. I will begin by uncovering his identity!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

INSTANT MESSAGING

**TK1010**: Hello. How are you today?

**MuttererSeesItAll**: Why did they give me a Pal so late? It's a bias of course, a bias against my school just because of one incident last year and I guess we still have to prove ourselves and it really isn't fair. It's not that I really wanted to talk to someone new but I thought this might be interesting so I signed on to see who my person is but he seems really boring and he hasn't said anything really interesting of course all my friends have more interesting people and they seem to be having fun, but here I am without anything to say to my Keyboard Pal-

**TK1010**: Eh… actually, I just joined the program…

**MuttererSeesItAll**: Figures. I've gotten a new guy who doesn't know anything about the program and he probably expects me to show him how to work it and I don't know all the details and then he'll think I'm stupid but I'm not I always get top marks in school and I take the best notes so everyone copies my notes and no one gives me credit for it and then I go to play tennis and all those weird girls from class come and try to talk to me and ask me on dates but I don't like them and besides, what would I do on a date when buchou's sister tried to explain it to me she said that I can't mutter on dates but I never mutter so I don't understand why she would say such a thing-

**TK1010**: …

**MuttererSeesItAll**: And he talks too much, too, this other guy, I can barely get a word in edgewise, so what's the point of trying to talk to him if he's so noisy how will he ever find out anything about me like what my birthday is or my favorite color, and it's purple, but a lot of people say my hair has a purple tint but it really isn't I just use a good shampoo and it says shiny on it so it makes my hair gleam but buchou's sister says that that's why all the girls annoy me so what am I supposed to do just stop taking showers? I shower three times a day and put on lots of shampoo because my shampoo is all cool and I like the way it pops open and _it_ doesn't interrupt me when I talk like everyone else-

**TK1010**: Excuse me… did you say you _speak_ to your shampoo?

**MuttererSeesItAll**: And he interrupts me again but what else is new I'd put in a request for a new Keyboard Pal, but it looks like all the good ones are already taken and I'll probably be stuck with some sicko stalker who will keep on bugging me until e gets my email address and then he'll start sending me forwards with pictures of animals in strange positions and poems about friendship but I'm not his friend because then he'd probably expect me to play tennis with him and he might be like that guy who hurt buchou and then I'll have to go to the hospital and I don't like the hospital because all the nurses fawn over me and buchou's sister says it's because I'm good-looking but that's only because of my shampoo and the-

**TK1010**: I'm sorry, I think I have to go right now… because of…a phone call. Yes, a phone call! Sorry I'm cutting the conversation short. It's been enjoyable.

**MuttererSeesItAll**: And now he's leaving me here because he thinks I'm strange just like all the other boys in my class just because I'm so quiet and all the girls chase after me and I don't like them even though buchou's sister says my geography teacher also has a crush on me and that's why she always asks me to teach her how to play tennis but I always say no because if she kisses me then I'll have to report it and she'll get angry and won't give me top marks and I'll fall to second in the grade instead of first and everyone will make fun of me and I'll have to hide from all the girls who will try to sympathize with me but they don't understand no one understands!

**Automated Response**: TK1010 has signed offline.

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**PerfectlyModest**: I have decided to grace you with my presence again today. Be awed!

**WhyNot: **Why? Why do you speak like that? Why don't you ever answer my IM's? Why should I be awed?

**PerfectlyModest**: I understand that you have a lot of questions. I will arrange for them to answered by a minion.

**WhyNot**: Why? Why do you always avoid answering my questions? Why do you need to get someone else to answer my questions? Why do you say I have questions?

**PerfectlyModest**: Inquisitive is good, my flunky, but only when directed in the right fashion.

**WhyNot**: Why? Why do you call me a flunky? Why do we need to direct the questions somewhere? Why is my house empty?

**PerfectlyModest**: You'll begin with a few simple questions which you constantly ask your friends on the tennis team and at school…

**WhyNot**: Why? Why is there a scratching at the door? Why is the door to the house opening? Why is a stranger walking in?

**PerfectlyModest**: We'll try… Why can we never win against Hyotei? And, say… Why is Hyotei's captain so godlike?

**WhyNot**: Why? Why is the stranger wearing a ski mask? Why is he opening the safe? Why has he seen me?

**PerfectlyModest**: Once you finish with those questions, I'll give you another set. Understood?

**WhyNot**: Why? Why does he look like he wants to kill me? Why is he holding out a gun? Why aren't I running away?

**PerfectlyModest**: I will take my leave now.

**Automated Response**: WhyNot has signed offline.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: Hello! I'm really happy that I'm finally getting to meet my Keyboard Pal!

**Urusai**: Shut up.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: Um… okay. Do you want to talk about yourself?

**Urusai**: No.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: Do you… want to hear about me?

**Urusai**: You're annoying.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: Well… do you just want to talk?

**Urusai**: Do you know what I want to do?

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: Please! I'd love to help you out!

**Urusai**: I want to find out where you live and visit you.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: Well, we're not supposed to tell who we are yet…

**Urusai**: And then I want to shove you against a wall and beat your face in.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: Well… I, uh… maybe I'd better talk to you when you're in a better mood. I think I ….hear my mother calling me! Yeah. It's was nice meeting you and all!

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

**IntellectuallyChallenged**: Uh… hi… you're my Mouse Partner, right?

**GettingDumbAndDumber**: Isn't it Keyboard Partner or something?

**IntellectuallyChallenged**: I wouldn't know… I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, if you catch my drift.

**GettingDumbAndDumber**: I know! I'm totally the same way. I get the lowest marks in the grade and all.

**IntellectuallyChallenged**: So do I. In tennis, I can't even figure out which way the opponent will hit!

**GettingDumbAndDumber**: I'll never understand how people who play data tennis are able to keep track of so many different numbers!

**IntellectuallyChallenged**: Yeah, we dumb ones always have it hard.

**GettingDumbAndDumber**: If I only had a brain…

**IntellectuallyChallenged**: That's a song, right?

**GettingDumbAndDumber**: I think so… I'm not that smart that way. So, what's your school like?

**IntellectuallyChallenged**: I don't think I should talk about that. It might… give away my identity! Yeah. I've got to go, anyway.

**GettingDumbAndDumber**: K. Bye, Sadaharu.

**IntellectuallyChallenged**: Bye, Renji.

**GettingDumbAndDumber**: How'd you know?

**IntellectuallyChallenged**: Same way as you did.

**GettingDumbAndDumber**: 94 percent chance that you were going to collect data, weren't you? And you thought you could relax my guard by acting dumb.

**IntellectuallyChallenged**: And you knew this because you had the same plan…86 percent chance.

**GettingDumbAndDumber**: As expected of Sadaharu!

**IntellectuallyChallenged**: And as expected of Renji…!

TBC

Your reviews keep me writing!


	4. Yanagi, Sengoku, Yuuta, and Dan

♥**As always, thanks to all my reviewers!♥**

**Title**: "Tenipuri Online!"

**Author**: All4thebasilisk

**Rating**: As of now, I'll stick with PG.

**Summary**: All the Kantou schools have arranged a secret "Keyboard Pal" program for the tennis players. Each player selects a screenname and must correspond with whomever he is randomly given online. But as the name implies, the two keyboard buddies don't know whom they've been given…

**Pairings**: We'll see…

Notes: Author's notes will be enclosed in parentheses throughout the story. 

And without further ado, let the instant messaging begin!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

EMAIL

(My apologies for last time's crummy Inui-Yanagi chapter- I was exhausted at the time… I'll try to make it up to you this time around…)

**From:** Yanagi Renji (Dataman2)

**To: **Inui Sadaharu (Dataman)

There is a ninety percent chance that you are also investigating who is Keyboard Pals with whom, Sadaharu, so I thought that we should team up and increase the chances of knowing all the Keyboard Pals in advance by fifty percent. There is a very high probability that you have been thinking the same way and that this email is unnecessary, so I will simply expect you to be online at eight o'clock tonight. I will speak with you then.

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**From**: Sengoku Kiyosumi (LuckyTiger)

**To: **Minami Kentarou (Yamabuchou)

Lucky! I'm finally going to speak to my Keyboard Pal. It's going to be tougher than any tennis game I've ever played, though, because I'm going to have to hide my true nature! Yup, I'm serious! Not one "lucky," not even one mention of all the cute girls that might be at my Keyboard Pal's school! I'm just going to play it cool. I hope that luck is on my side, though. What will I do without my "lucky?" This will be truly difficult…

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**From**: Fuji Yuuta (NotJustOtouto)

**To**: Yanagisawa Shinya (Who'sADuckDane?)

It's amazing! My Keyboard Pal and I really get along. We talk about all sorts of real stuff- like siblings and tennis and school, and he's really helpful! He's an older brother, and he's always advising me on how to deal with my aniki and get along with him better. Since I started getting advice from "Yamasurname," my whole relationship with my brother has changed drastically! Sometimes my Pal gets a little weird, though… sort of depressed and evasive when I ask him about _his_ brother. Who knows? Maybe their relationship isn't as great as it was when he first told me about it…

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**From**: Dan Taichi (DanDanDanDan)

**To**: Akutsu Jin (OuttaMyWay)

My Keyboard Pal is great, desu! He wasn't so talkative at first, desu, but now I think he's adjusted to this whole program and is giving me tips in tennis play, desu! I think this whole program is great, and I'll bet everyone agrees, desu! Do you, Akutsu-sempai? I heard that Banji-sensei made you get a Keyboard Pal, and I hope you're having fun, too, desu!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

INSTANT MESSAGING

(There WILL be revelations in this chapter… but nothing you didn't already know…)

**GettingDumbAndDumber:** Sadaharu?

**IntellectuallyChallenged**: I'm here.

**GettingDumbAndDumber:** Good. Let's begin comparing notes.

**IntellectuallyChallenged:** On the second day of the program, I questioned the Seigaku regulars about their Keyboard Pals. Oishi told me, "he's very… confident… but we shouldn't be discussing this, should we?"

**GettingDumbAndDumber: **68 percent chance Oishi Syuichiroh is paired up with Atobe Keigo.

**IntellectuallyChallenged:** This time, the other 32 percent is correct. I tailed Oishi home, and he met up with Atobe Keigo. Atobe denied it.

**GettingDumbAndDumber:** There's only an eighteen percent chance that Atobe would lie.

**IntellectuallyChallenged: **Exactly. I have compiled all the data, and the most logical person has come up.

**GettingDumbAndDumber:** Assuming the mystery player isn't trying to conceal his identity by acting the exact opposite way he'd generally be. In that case, the most logical person may not be correct.

**IntellectuallyChallenged: **Then you also believe that it's most likely Wakato Hiroshi.

**GettingDumbAndDumber: **But if it's someone exactly the opposite- perhaps my teammate Sanada Genichirou or yours Tezuka Kunimitsu- all our calculations could be moot.

**IntellectuallyChallenged: ** What do you suggest?

**GettingDumbAndDumber:** We hack into the computer system tomorrow night. There's a ninety-four percent chance that if we work together, we can eavesdrop on their next conversation… not to mention all the other Keyboard Pals'…

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**NotSuperstitious:** Hello, Keyboard Pal!

**QuicktoAnger**: Hey. Lucky we were both online at the same time, huh?

**NotSuperstitious:** Uh… yeah. But don't use that…word… next time, okay? I don't believe in coincidences. It's a waste of time to rely on some sort of… magic to just win games for you or make things happen!

**QuicktoAnger:** I guess so… sorry. Didn't realize I'd struck a nerve. Not many people are so sensitive to the word luck.

**NotSuperstitious:** Just don't say it, okay? It distracts me!

**QuicktoAnger:** Okay! Sheesh…

**NotSuperstitious: **…why don't we change the subject for now?

**QuicktoAnger:** That sounds good. So, did you hear about that kid from Rokkaku?

**NotSuperstitious: **No… what happened to him?

**QuicktoAnger: ** Apparently he was IMing his Keyboard Pal when some guy broke into his house. The guy wasn't expecting there to be anyone home, so when he saw the Rokkaku kid, he panicked and pulled a gun on him.

**NotSuperstitious: **So what happened!

**QuicktoAnger:** Lucky for him, his Keyboard Pal was none other than Atobe Keigo, who had been trying to recruit the kid for some sort of Hyotei promo. When the kid started writing about this guy attacking him, Atobe decided to take action and called his personal police. They traced the IM, and two hours later, found the Rokkaku guy bound and gagged in the closet. He was totally fine, though he said afterwards that the guy had only gagged him because he "asked too many questions!"

**NotSuperstitious: **Lucky…

**QuicktoAnger: **Did you hear anything I said besides the word lucky?

**NotSuperstitious: **Luckyluckylucky…

**QuicktoAnger: ** Sheesh… I don't know what you'd do if you ever met that Yamabuki kid, Sengoku Kiyosumi. Lucky's his favorite-

**NotSuperstitious**: AARGH! LUCKY! LUCKY! LUCKY! I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE!

**QuicktoAnger: **You need therapy.

**NotSuperstitious**: LUCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

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**KnowMYName**: I just wanted to thank you again.

**YamaSurname**: Oh?

**KnowMYName**: I spoke to my brother about the whole overbearing thing again, saying exactly what you told me to say, and this time he's really listened! I mean, even though I mentioned my manager yesterday, whom he really hates and never fails to mention it, he was great about it. Oh, his eyes hardened for a second, but then it was like he was remembering exactly what I had said to him and he kept quiet.

**YamaSurname**: Sounds like my advice is working. But it sounds like your brother is suffering.

**KnowMYName**: Suffering.

**YamaSurname**: Yes. From what I've…heard… he seems to really, earnestly care about you, but he must feel like you're pushing him away. He tries to be a caring, considerate older brother, and all he gets from you are declarations of your need to be independent.

**KnowMYName**: But that's what you told me to tell him!

**YamaSurname**: Maybe I was a bit harsh. It seems like your aniki means well, and doesn't understand why you don't think about it that way. He'd be heartbroken to know all the details that you've told me about how you feel.

**KnowMYName**: Yes, but if I start relying on him or something, he'll just take that as meaning that I do want him to be overprotective!

**YamaSurname**: Believe me, now that he knows how you feel, he won't be so quick to stifle you anymore.

**KnowMYName**: You don't know my brother!

**IntellectuallyChallenged: **96.7 percent chance that "KnowMYName" is Fuji Yuuta.

**GettingDumbAndDumber: **An equal percent that YamaSurname is-

**YamaSurname**: Inui Sadaharu? Is that you? And probably Yanagi Renji, too?

**KnowMYName**: What are you two doing in our IM?

**GettingDumbAndDumber: **Gathering data, gathering data…

**KnowMYName**: Isn't this an invasion of privacy! You two get out!

**Automated Response**: GettingDumbAndDumber has signed offline.

**Automated Response**: IntellectuallyChallenged has signed offline.

**KnowMYName**: I can't believe those two were eavesdropping on our conversation!

**YamaSurname**: It sounds like their type of thing to do though, right?

**KnowMYName**: I guess, but it's still not right! Now you know my identity, too.

**YamaSurname**: I guessed it already, so it doesn't make a difference.

**KnowMYName**: You knew who I was all along? Who are you?

**YamaSurname**: You'll just have to wait until everyone else finds out…

**KnowMYName**: Aw, come on! Just a hint!

**Automated Response**: YamaSurname has signed offline.

**KnowMYName**: What's with _him_ today…?

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**TennisStarWannabe**: I'm so excited that you're on again!

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: I wanted to ask you about the Cyclone Smash. Have you ever seen Echizen Ryoma do it?

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: I did- a few times, actually! I've been trying to use it, but I can't seem to jump that high. How would you say I should do it best?

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: Yeah, I guess you wouldn't know if you've never seen it! I'm sorry; I'll stop talking about tennis. You don't seem to like discussing it.

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: You know, it's funny. When we first started talking, I felt like I was doing all the talking. I was worried at first, but now it's amazing how well we get along! I really feel like I can talk to you, and I'm sure you also feel that way.

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: I'm glad! I'm happy that I can get along with someone who's probably a year or two older than I am, and who knows so much more tennis than I do! I love this program!

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe**: I've got to go now, but thank you for the conversation, as always. I can't wait to meet you!

TBC

(Two notes: First, I'm sorry that I haven't really been churning out the chapters so quickly. I've been caring for an injured cat for the past two-three weeks, and have been kind of distracted by that. But she's getting better now, so I should be putting out more chapters more often!

Second, I'm absolutely desperate to publish Coalition fanfiction, but doesn't have a book category for it! Could people please go to support. and request that Coalition, by Basi Lisker, be placed as a category on I would be eternally grateful!)


	5. INTERLUDE

**♥Special thank you to Niou-kun (PerfectlyModest is her penname) for all her input (and for writing the fic that I wanted to write instead of writing this)! **

**Title**: "Tenipuri Online!"

**Author**: All4thebasilisk

**Rating**: As of now, I'll stick with PG.

**Summary**: All the Kantou schools have arranged a secret "Keyboard Pal" program for the tennis players. Each player selects a screenname and must correspond with whomever he is randomly given online. But as the name implies, the two keyboard buddies don't know whom they've been given…

**Pairings**: We'll see…

Notes: Author's notes will be enclosed in parentheses throughout the story. 

And without further ado, let the instant messaging begin!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_INTERLUDE_

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

EMAIL

**From:** Inui Sadaharu (Dataman)

**To:** Yanagi Renji (Dataman2)

**Subject: **The non-regular participants will not hold us back.

I have uncovered several other screennames, and there is an eighty-eight percent chance that you know the same ones. I recommend that we skip from conversation to conversation to confirm. There is a seventy-six percent chance that you have perfected the program that makes us invisible to our subjects, so we can properly tap into their conversations. My data suggests that most Keyboard Pals are online late at night, so I will contact you then.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(Explanation: Since I've been away for so long and haven't updated in AGES, this chapter is a little treat. **Nearly** every previous IM pair and many new ones will be in it, though each conversation will be shorter than usual. Some of the new ones will be continued in later chapters, some will not. Be aware, though, that Yanagi HAS perfected the program, and anytime Inui and Yanagi speak, no one else hears.)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

INSTANT MESSAGING

(A/N: Some of the new IM's have the people meeting for the first time, some do not. Don't worry, you haven't missed a chapter!)

**WhyNot: **Why? Why did you help me? Why haven't you been answering my IM's? Why do I always have to keep a cell phone near my bed?

**PerfectlyModest: **Actually, I haven't responded to your IM's because I hired the best minds in Japan to figure you out. Now I know how to deal with you. I helped you because it was good publicity. And you have to keep a cell phone near your bed in case you're mugged again.

** IntellectuallyChallenged:** That is 64 NOT Atobe Keigo.

** GettingDumbAndDumber: **I agree. Obviously, he has hired the best minds in Japan to figure out how to deal with Itsuki and to actually deal with him.

**WhyNot:** Why? Why would I be mugged again? Why did you hire people to figure me out? Why is it good publicity?

**PerfectlyModest:** Your family is just taking precautions. My patience with you was running out, and anything that makes me seem good is good publicity.

**WhyNot: **Why? Why are you answering my questions? Why aren't you ignoring them? Why can't I think up any new questions?

**PerfectlyModest: **This is the solution to you. If I answer your questions, the well of "whys" will run dry so quickly, you won't be able to think of questions. You mind will be too full of… answers.

**WhyNot: **Why? Why does it work that way…? Chlorophyll! Human behavior! Emc squared! He adds extra spin to the ball by rolling it on his racket! The bandage is for decorative purposes! He's obsessed with himself! The net has to be low enough that a ball will pass over it!

**PerfectlyModest: **Unfortunately, now the boy has too many answers. Well, I'll let Mr. High-and-Mighty "Oresama will give you much money to obey me" to deal with this. I'm going to get my payment.

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(Fowl-boy can use "dane" because Twin knows who he is already.)

**FoultoCallmeFoul:** I can't believe you're Atsushi's brother, dane!

**TennisTwin:** …I can't believe you're still hooked on that. You found out who I was a week ago.

**FoultoCallmeFowl:** It's so cool, though, dane! I mean, do you guys really look exactly alike?

**TennisTwin:** That's why we're called IDENTICAL. Sheesh.

FoultoCallmeFowl: Do you have a secret language, dane? 

**TennisTwin: **_What_?

**FoultoCallmeFowl: **I'll bet you do. All identical twins do, dane! You probably have some weird name for it, like aelmis or something…

**TennisTwin:** You're too obsessed with this twin thing!

**FoultoCallmeFowl: **…so when you told Atsushi that I was a baka that one time, you probably weren't speaking Japanese at all, dane, and didn't call me an idiot!

**TennisTwin:** I. Don't. Have. A. Secret. Language.

**FoultoCallmeFowl:** Uh-huh, dane. wink Your secret is safe with me.

**TennisTwin: **I DON'T HAVE A SECRET LANGUAGE!

**FoultoCallmeFowl: **Don't worry! I won't tell, dane!

**Automated Response**: TennisTwin has signed offline.

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**YoungBuchou:** SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I WAS WORRIED!

3ada: My captain told me that it would be cowardly not to face you again, so I returned. But will you please… tone down… the enthusiasm? 

**YoungBuchou: **AM I ENTHUSIASTIC? I ALWAYS TRY TO BE UPBEAT! I'M SO HAPPY THAT SOMEONE SAW IT!

**3ada: **No.

**YoungBuchou: **WHY ARE YOU GETTING A HEADACHE? HAVE YOU BEEN STARING AT A COMPUTER SCREEN FOR TOO LONG? MAYBE YOU GET SOME FRESH AIR! DO YOU PLAY TENNIS?

**3ada: **Yes.

**YoungBuchou: **THAT'S SUCH A COINCIDENCE! SO DO I! (A/N: At this point, 3ada is thinking, "no. God, no." lol) I'M EVEN THE BUCHOU OF MY TEAM! HOW ABOUT YOU?

**3ada: **No.

**YoungBuchou:** THAT'S TOO BAD! MAYBE NEXT YEAR!

**3ada**: No.

**YoungBuchou: **OH! I HOPE I'LL BE BUCHOU AGAIN NEXT YEAR! IT'S A LOT OF FUN! NOT AS MUCH FUN AS PLAYING TENNIS, THOUGH!

**3ada: **Yes.

** IntellectuallyChallenged: **There is a 70 chance that 3ada is from Rikkai.

**GettingDumbAndDumber: **My data agrees with yours. I also believe that there is a ninety-nine percent chance that 3ada will terminate this conversation within three minutes.

** IntellectuallyChallenged: **Incorrect.

**GettingDumbAndDumber: **You disagree?

** IntellectuallyChallenged: **It will only be two.

**YoungBuchou: **I LOVE THIS PROGRAM! IT HELPS ME MEET NEW PEOPLE! I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I MEET YOU! THEN WE CAN PLAY TENNIS AFTERWARDS!

**3ada: **NO!

**YoungBuchou:** WHY NOT? ARE YOU AFRAID OF PLAYING A BUCHOU? DON'T WORRY, IT'LL BE LOTS OF FUN! THEN WE CAN GO OUT FOR ICE CREAM AFTERWARDS! I LOVE ICE CREAM! IT TASTES DELICIOUS!

**Automated Response: **3ada has signed offline.

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**MuttererSeesItAll**: Now you're online again, and I'm in the middle of doing a research report for school, but you're never online and now you'll probably expect me to drop everything and talk to you but I need to finish the report or sensei will be angry at me and want me to stay after school and finish it but I have practice after school and buchou will be mad, so I'll be pushed down and I'll always have to play doubles and I don't like playing doubles because my doubles partner always yells at the other team and makes them mad and I'm always afraid that they'll get angry at him and beat buchou up because everyone thinks that buchou is really tough but I always see his sister bossing him around and how tough can he be if he always gives in to her, and-

**TK1007**: If you don't want to talk right now, I don't mind coming back another time.

**MuttererSeesItAll**: And now he's all offended and probably will tell everyone that I'm a rude person when he finds out who I am but that's not true I'm always really polite and I'm normal in public, not like that guy from the street tennis courts who's really rude and never even showers so he smells really bad and no one wants to tell him that he has body odor but I know that I'm a clean person so I don't worry that people say I smell because I always shower and I use a special mousse afterwards that my sister gave me and it makes her hair all curly so I followed the directions but my hair's still straight and now the whole team thinks that I'm a girl because my sister told buchou's sister and she told everyone and I was really embarrassed because I like buchou's sister, but-

**TK1007**: I'm not offended. I really don't mind.

**MuttererSeesItAll: **He's probably lying through his teeth because that's what people do like that girl who told me that she'd stop throwing rocks with messages on them at my window at midnight if I kissed her and I did but she still does it and now all of her friends do it too because they think that now I'll kiss them and buchou's sister says that it's because I kissed one and I shouldn't kiss any more because then more will come and my father is already angry at all of them and he called the police last night and in school today all the girls told me that they were sorry and wanted to make it up to me and they wanted to take me out for ice cream but buchou's sister said that I shouldn't encourage them and buchou's sister knows these things so I told them no and they followed me home again-

**TK1007**: Why don't you keep working, and I'll talk to you another time? Goodbye.

**MuttererSeesItAll**: He wants me to work and everyone wants me to work even on other people's work like the three boys who pushed me against the wall today and told me that I have to write their reports for them and I said yes at first but buchou's sister said that I shouldn't or they'll always expect me to do it for them so I told them I couldn't but then they beat me up and now I have a black and blue mark on my cheek and it's really ugly and my sister wanted to put something on it so no one can see it but that's too much like makeup and I don't want buchou's sister to laugh at me so I said no but now I have a bruise that matches my hair and everyone will laugh at me tomorrow even the teachers except for the geography teacher because she has a crush on me and wouldn't laugh, probably.

**Automated Response: **TK1007 has signed offline.

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**TennisWhiz:** Nice to meet you! I hope you're somewhat good at tennis. I'm only here to meet my equals, though I don't even know if they exist. I mean, I have two years of tennis experience, and I'm really good!

**DataCollector:** That's… fascinating. (Now imagine a strange, low laugh.) I would LOVE to hear more about your tennis play. Please, continue! Any information is useful… er, very interesting! That's all! I love hearing about people playing tennis.

**TennisWhiz:** Well, I'm probably not supposed to tell you this, but my team is REALLY good. We're even going to the Nationals! And I'm at the top of an extremely talented team.

**DataCollector:** Are you the captain?

**TennisWhiz:** Well, not yet… but I will be within a year or two. Everyone knows already, and they all treat me with respect.

**DataCollector: **Very interesting… So, tell me- are you undefeated?

**TennisWhiz: **Well… essentially. I mean, I've never lost in an official tournament, but there were several times when I allowed myself to lose to inspire lesser players. Every good future captain should.

**DataCollector:** Of course. Of course. I completely agree. Now, why don't you tell me more about your team. Are they stronger in doubles or singles, in your opinion?

**TennisWhiz:** Oh, they're very strong in both. A good, solid team. The top of Kantou. That's why I chose to go to a tennis school like… like mine. I will lead only the strongest team!

**DataCollector:** I've got to go now, but I'll be back tomorrow. I'd love to hear more information!

**TennisWhiz: **I'll be back, then, too.

**DataCollector: **And to think that I thought this program was going to be a waste of time…!

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**TennisStarWannabe:** So good to talk to you again! This program's going to be over soon and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to reach you before then!

**Nanisure**: …

**TennisStarWannabe:** So, were you at the Kantou Championship game? With Echizen Ryoma?

**Nanisure: **…

**TennisStarWannabe: **I saw the whole thing! It was incredible how he just started imitating all of his opponents' play styles! I wish I could be like him!

**Nanisure:** …

**TennisStarWannabe:** I really admire Echizen Ryoma! He's my goal! Someday, I'm going to be just like him!

**Nanisure:** …

**TennisStarWannabe**: Yeah, I guess I should try to be my own tennis player, but I can't help but look up to Echizen Ryoma!

**Nanisure:** …

**TennisStarWannabe: **Have you ever played him? I did, once, and I even won a few points off him! It was incredible!

**Nanisure: **…

**TennisStarWannabe: **But now, I think he's gotten so good that I probably won't even be able to touch the ball! I'm so excited!

**Nanisure:** …

**TennisStarWannabe:** Well, I've got to go now, but I can't wait to talk to you again! I love connecting with new people!

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**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: How are you today?

**Urusai:** Shut up.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: I… I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. For some reason, we just haven't been getting along.

**Urusai: **You're really annoying.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: I'm sorry if I did anything to offend you… I didn't mean to!

**Urusai**: You offend me with your presence.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: But how can you say that? We barely know each other, and we have at least one thing in common in that we both love tennis, right?

**Urusai:** I. Hate. Tennis.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: You do? Why?

**Urusai: **It 's almost as annoying as you are.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: But why do you play it, then?

**Urusai:** I don't.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: But… then how are you on a tennis team?

**Urusai:** I'm not.

**OneShotWithAllMySoul**: Maybe there's been some sort of misunderstanding, then. I think I must've been given the wrong screenname. I apologize for your time.

**Urusai:** What?

**Automated Response: **OneShotWithAllMySoul has signed offline.

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**TallAndStrong:** So, how've you been?

**SushiChef: **Great! I've been helping around the house a lot recently, so I haven't had much time for tennis. But I can go online at night, when the shop is closed.

**TallAndStrong:** So that's how you've been going online every night! I was wondering…

**SushiChef:** It's just that sometimes I wish I could spend more time on tennis now, since I'll have to quit next year.

**TallAndStrong:** Right… you told me about that. I'm sorry. I love tennis- I don't know what I'd do without it.

**SushiChef:** I know! I mean, when I play, I'm like a completely different person… unique and my own player!

**TallAndStrong:** Unique…

**SushiChef**: Is something wrong?

**TallAndStrong: **Yes… no… kind of. I mean, what would you do if you ad an incredible tennis shot at your disposal, one you developed that's virtually undefeatable, used it ONCE during a match, and then discovered players you don't even know using it?

**SushiChef:** What do you mean?

**TallAndStrong:** I only used it once, and now half the country seems to be using it and twisting it into different moves! MY shot! Is that fair, I ask you?

**SushiChef:** I'm… sorry. That must be horrible for you. People who steal others' moves without giving them credit are despicable, I agree.

**TallAndStrong:** Imagine my surprise at seeing a "Snake Hadokyuu" at Kantou. My move. MY move!

**SushiChef: **Hadokyuuu? Did you say Hadokyuu?

**TallAndStrong: **Yes…why?

**SushiChef: **…No reason. But, uh, I've really got to go. I'll speak to you some other time!

**TallAndStrong: **Wait! What's with you?

**Automated Response: **SushiChef has signed offline.

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**MoleNotBug: **You will not believe what happened to me today.

**RedAndReady: **Oh? What now?

**MoleNotBug**: You know that guy I told you about? The one who's always muttering?

**RedAndReady**:The one who uses mousse?

**MoleNotBug**: Yeah, that one. Well now, he's being stalked by a bunch of girls.

**RedAndReady**:Stalked? Really stalked?

**MoleNotBug**: Well, if you call waking him up in the middle of the night by throwing messages through his window being stalked…

**RedAndReady**:You're kidding. Why are they so obsessed with him?

**MoleNotBug**: Well, he's really smart and good-looking, and I guess because he mutters a lot, he's also mysterious…

**RedAndReady**:Sounds like YOU like him, too.

**MoleNotBug**: Not really. He's just a friend… besides, why would it matter to YOU if I like him?

**RedAndReady**:Who says it would? I don't care.

**MoleNotBug**: You don't?

**RedAndReady**: No.

**MoleNotBug**: Really?

**RedAndReady**: Okay, MAYBE.

**MoleNotBug**: Really?

**RedAndReady**: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

**MoleNotBug**: I don't know! I really don't!

**RedAndReady**: It's not like we really know each other-

**MoleNotBug**: -but we do, somehow…

**RedAndReady**: You know what? Come with your brother to the thing where we meet our Keyboard Pals. Then we can talk… really, I mean.

**MoleNotBug**: I think I will.

** IntellectuallyChallenged: **My data predicts that these two will not be happy to meet each other.

**GettingDumbAndDumber: **Mine disagrees. He will. She will not.

** IntellectuallyChallenged: **I'm inclined to follow your data, seeing as you know him best…

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**It'sChan**: Where have you been the past few days?

**NekoLover**: I was doing late-night training.

**It'sChan**: More? You train too much.

**NekoLover**: I do not! Believe me, if you were in MY situation, you would, too.

**It'sChan**: Oh? What's your situation?

**NekoLover**: Well, there's this other guy on my tennis team, and we're basically rivals. But he's really good at tennis! There's no way I can lose to him!

**It'sChan**: I know the feeling. I mean, I also have a rival on my team, and he's also really good, but I wouldn't spend my whole life training just to beat him! I mean, he trains a lot more than I do, but he could still maybe beat me if he didn't! He's really talented!

**NekoLover**: Not as talented as my rival. I mean, mine's beaten some of the top players in the junior high circuit!

**It'sChan**: So has mine! He has this incredible move that he developed by ACCIDENT!

**NekoLover**: Let's not fight over this. It's not like it matters. How many times have you told the guy that he was that good?

**It'sChan**: Never? He's my rival! Have you?

**NekoLover**: Of course not!

**It'sChan**: Sometimes I wish that he wouldn't always get on my nerves. It would be nice if we were friends, or at least comrades who respected each other.

**NekoLover**: Yeah…

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**GiveMetheMoon**: Um… I think there's something we really need to discuss.

**Uluv2KnowMe**: What is it? Have you run out of space in your school for my fan club? Did too many students sign up?

**GiveMetheMoon**: …That's not it…

**Uluv2KnowMe**: Oh! Are they stalking you, hoping to meet me through you? I hope you explained that I choose the girls I speak to very carefully.

**GiveMetheMoon**: Actually, I-

**Uluv2KnowMe**: Although, I suppose, you could eliminate certain girls already. I mean, any imperfections on the face automatically rule out some girls.

**GiveMetheMoon**: But there's-

**Uluv2KnowMe**: I also prefer hair that doesn't clash with mine. I mean, most red and orange just won't work with me!

**GiveMetheMoon**: I'm not-

**Uluv2KnowMe**: I suppose brunettes are invited. But what I really like are girls with really black hair. They look great next to me! I go through girlfriends as quickly as possible, though, so you might want to pick out a large selection.

**GiveMetheMoon**: You can't-

**Uluv2KnowMe**: Please stop interrupting me! You must learn to treat me like my fans do! I know most boys react with jealousy instead of admiration, but you're a lackey! You can't be just jealous.

**GiveMetheMoon**: I need to sign offline.

**Uluv2KnowMe**: Go ahead, but don't forget about the posters! I want them done before Wednesday!

**Automated Response:** GiveMetheMoon has signed offline.

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**BurgerKing**: Why don't we try to talk about something that won't make you fall asleep this time? For example… your favorite tennis moves.

**Oyasumi!**: I think the coolest ones are the tensai moves of Marui Bunta! They're amazing! I love watching Marui play!

**BurgerKing**: You… what?

**Oyasumi!**: He's so cool! I want to play him someday!

**BurgerKing**: Wait a minute… how do you know…him?

**Oyasumi!**: Well, I don't know him personally, but I've seen him play and he's really incredible! He's the best player in Kantou!

**BurgerKing**: Well, I don't know about that, but-

**Oyasumi!**: Don't put down Marui Bunta! I'm his biggest fan! Once, I even went all the way to Kanagawa just to meet him, but I fell asleep on the way and ended up in Kyushu! Someday, I'm going to be able to tell him how great he is!

**BurgerKing**: Wow. Um… wow. Now I really want to meet you.

**Oyasumi!**: Why? Hey! Do you think Marui has a Keyboard Pal? Do you think he'll be there when we go at the end of this program! I hope so! That would be great!

**BurgerKing**: Oh, he'll be there… if you haven't scared him off by acting like a stalker…

**Oyasumi!**: Really? I'm so excited! Do you know him?

**BurgerKing**: Could be…

**Oyasumi!**: Can you sgn;iewuohrghwepeuirwhhbjh

**BurgerKing**: Asleep again! Yet somehow, I don't think I mind…

TBC

Your reviews keep me writing!


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